Living with a childhood liver disease can be a rollercoaster. No-one knows this better than Stuart who overcame the difficulties of auto-immune liver disease to qualify as a doctor. This year he’s had to combine the joys of being a new dad with his own health issues as he shares here.
Our daughter, Ella, was born on April 18th this year. During Chloe’s pregnancy we knew that Ella had ectopic beats and had frequent fast heart rate. It meant that whenever she wasn’t moving much we had to get her heart rate monitored to make sure it wasn’t irregular or too fast. But all was fine when she was born and six months on, other than a little bit of acid reflux, she is doing great. Me and Chloe really can’t complain, we have been very lucky thus far.
In contrast my own health isn’t great right now. I have been off my work for a few months now and have also given up working as a doctor at football games for the current season because of it. Following assessment in August, I was listed for a liver transplant.
I’m glad to finally be on the list because my deteriorating liver health means that I haven’t been able to be as active a parent as I would like. Carrying Ella up the stairs leaves me feeling breathless and faint. The tiredness also bothers me as if I’m trying to soothe her by walking around holding her, I can only manage it for two or three minutes max before I need to sit down. Luckily for me and Ella, mum has been amazing and somehow managed to look after both of us!
Of course, being on the transplant list generates conflicting emotions. One on hand I know it’s the only hope of getting back to the old me and getting my life back. On the other, I am petrified that if something goes wrong will I leave her fatherless? Will I miss watching her grow up? These are horrible thoughts to have but sometimes the mind just runs away with you.
Despite the negatives because of my health, I have loved every minute of being a father, it’s the best job I’ve ever had. Ella gives me life. She’s such a smiley little girl. Nothing beats seeing her smile or hearing her giggle. We had a lovely weekend celebrating my own Granma’s 90th birthday this summer and we also decided to take Ella to Mallorca for a few days which she loved. She slept the whole flight there and back, and began her swimming lessons – with a float of course!
So for the moment, while we await the all-important call, I’m just intent on enjoying Ella as much as I can, keeping calm and looking forward to the day when I can do all the active dad stuff I had always planned!
