It’s always valuable to hear young people’s experiences of growing up with a liver condition and we’re particularly grateful to Mo, now 17, for the brilliant account of his journey which we’re going to share across a few blogs. In the first one he takes us back to his primary school days and how he coped with bullying.
Going to school every day was an effort, I was constantly tired. During the night, I would scratch and itch, trying to find a comfortable mode to fall asleep. In the morning my mum would wake me up and give me a shower. After the shower, I would have a generous helping of moisturizer applied to my skin to prevent it from drying and to stop me from scratching. Breakfast was a laborious task due to the fact my appetite was minimal. My cereal had to be pre-prepared as I would only eat it if it was very soggy! I did not enjoy food that involved effort. Most foods were prepared with this in mind as my mum discovered I did not want food that involved chewing!
At school I noticed some children would stare at me and call me “yellow eyes”. I used to find this very upsetting, I would try to ignore it but one boy used to point it out all the time. I asked my mum about my eye colour. Mum explained to me that because your liver is not working properly you have yellow eyes and in time the problem would be resolved. I held on to this fact that in time things would change and my eyes would become a white colour. I was also of short statue due to my liver condition, hence constantly being bullied due to my size and eye colour. I used to dread being in the corridor at break times. The other children used to come out of the classrooms and charge like bulls in a china shop. I used to fall over regularly as the stampede used to knock me off balance!
One day in school year 4, I was going about my normal business of playing with my friends. A new girl arrived in the class, the teacher told us to be nice to the girl and make her feel welcome. I walked over and said “hello” she didn’t reply but just stared back at me. So, I just wandered off back to my friends. A while later I noticed everyone was huddled together and just staring at me!
I didn’t understand why everyone was staring and the girl was pointing at me. My best friend Saif came up to me and said, “the new girl is telling everyone not to play with you because you have yellow eyes!”. I thought well that’s charming, so much for making the effort to make her feel welcome. In return I’m the one that’s made to feel like the odd one out!
I thought everyone in the class had been to school with me for several years. Have they just noticed the colour of my eyes because a total stranger had pointed this out? Or did it not make a difference before but does it now? Confusing stuff !!
I did not appreciate being singled out. I was aware my eye whites were not white like everyone’s but yellow. I also knew that my face and body colouring was much darker than my parents but that’s the way it had always been. I had often asked my dad “why am I a darker colour than you or mum?”. Dad would reply: “Everyone is not exactly the same colour. I love you whichever colour you are!”.
When mum came to collect me from school, she noticed I was upset. On questioning I told her about the whole incident. My mum was not too impressed, she told me to not to worry, that she would sort it out. Mum went to speak to the headmistress and related the scenario that occurred that very day. The headmistress reassured us that it was not at all acceptable to single anyone out due to their physical appearance.
The following day an assembly had been arranged by the headmistress. The main message was to explain to the children that it is not acceptable to marginalize or bully a child due to their physical appearance. In the assembly, it was also mentioned that some children have medical reasons for differences in appearance, and we should not use that to single them out or bully them. I felt as if the assembly had been triggered by the events of the previous day. The topic was about me without my name being mentioned. I thought this was going to make things worse, probably everyone would bully me more!
But then to my surprise everyone in my class returned to their usual friendly behaviour, as if the hypnosis of the new girl diminished. I was quite relieved, there were always a few bullies but at least I didn’t have to contend with my whole class.
Thank you Mo for sharing your experience with us. We’ll be hearing more about his journey in the next few weeks. Meanwhile if you, or someone you know has experienced bullying due to their liver condition and would like support please contact youngpeople@childliverdisease.org.
